Saturday, April 25, 2009


Big tears fall down like puddles
When something cuts it bleeds
Big storms leave towns in rubbles
Shore just recedes

Take some time to secure
A stream of water to occur
But crying is a way to know
Your tears are how you learn and grow
So better off to let it flow
Stains on cheeks will come to know

Heartaches and hopes for healing
Through the raining of your tears
You'll learn the pain you're feeling

(From "Tears" lyrics)

The reality:

I woke up late midnight after that call and found myself in tears again.:-( I could not sleep, so opened up my laptop and jot something down here.(with akulah kekasihmu currently played on the air) It’s my personal thingy again. I don’t blame him for this. I’m very sensitive nowadays. This is what happens when I want something very bad, I blame myself for this.

Reviewing history:

How could this be? I’ve never been in this position, feels like I’m no longer the same person I used to be in my school days. I don’t mind competing with others, love winning and dare to take any challenge. Losing is something I take as part of life experience, it never make me give-up and stop me from doing thing to heal it back again. Even if I cry, it never hurts me as this much! When others yelled at me, I yelled back at them. Who cares if I get scolded, like I cares???

Reality check:

My eyes are swelling..again.. I have even promised myself not to cry anymore. But promises are always meant to be broken..isnt it?

The conclusion:

I don’t have any decision with me, it’s not me who should do the decision, nothing happens lately, it would be as usual and I would enjoy my life as it is. This is my life, this is me, I do have him deep in my heart and will always will.


This time, I think it would take a lifetime to heal the hurts. I pray, that no matter what, I will still be an ordinary hawa, without any hatred and feelings for revenge to all adam out there. I pray, one day my love would find a way and I pray, I will not ruin myself because of this..Insyaallah. Aminnn..

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